After Thought
by MK-LJR-BB
Summary: Just after thought's certain characters might have after certain scenes... the chapter title' are the character they're about... used lyrics from "If You're Not The One" by Daniel Bedingfield... if u have any suggestions put 'em in a review or pm...
1. Angel

_**Part One - Angel**_

_** If you're not for me_

_Then why does this distance maim… my life?_

_If you're not for me_

_Then why do I dream of you… as my wife? **_

She was dead… his Cordie… dead.

It was so final… so… gone…

How was that possible? She wasn't an Angel, but she was good… she loved him… and he loved her… no worse. He still loved her, now, even after she was gone…

He threw the phone off his desk across his office, at the wall. He hit the ground. In all his years, even when Buffy had died… he'd never cried, but now? He was weeping like a baby.

He loved her, more than he thought he could love someone. Unlike when he'd loved Buffy, Cordelia knew what he was and not only accepted it embraced it. They were friends, best friends she'd once said. He hadn't known what that meant, now he did. He felt an emptiness without her. Even though he didn't have to, he couldn't breathe… and it hurt.

He kept wondering how one person, or thing could hurt this much.

When he'd wanted to meet her at the cove that night nearly two years ago, he'd known he loved her without a doubt, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. When he got his shaun-shoo he wanted to grow old with her. And now that would never happen…

His happy Cordie was gone… no more cinnamon in his blood, no more midnight pancakes. Never again would she blatantly stick her tongue out at him just to make him laugh. He'd never walk in on her and Phantom Denise arguing about shoes, he'd never help her train anymore.

It was his fault… if he'd trained her better; if he'd been there when that bastard Skip had hurt her… it was his fault…

Cordie was gone… and it was his fault…

_** Cause I miss you_

_Body and soul,_

_So strong… that it takes my breath away_

_And I breathe you,_

_Into my heart_

_And pray for the strength to stand today_

_Cause I love you_

_Whether it's wrong or right_

_And though I can't be with you tonight_

_You know my heart is body over sight **_

He stood, and stopped crying… it would solve nothing…

He would do what she said, get back on track…

He would take down the black-thorn. The worst of the worst. And then he'd stake himself, and be with his Cordie forever… if she could only give him the strength to get through it… he'd be with her soon.


	2. Wesley

_**Part Two – Wesley**_

_** If I don't need you_

_Then why am I crying… on my bed?_

_If I don't need you_

_Then why does your name resound… in my head? **_

Fred… she lay lifelessly on the floor. I thought she was dead.

No it's far worse, with this mockery of her walking around.

Illyria is not Fred… she never will be.

He didn't understand, why was she gone? She had been pure goodness… no evil whatsoever… and yet she'd been taken from him…

They'd just begun. True, he'd loved her since he'd met her, but she'd finally returned it… was it all a trick? A game? Did the powers that be get off on this shit?

His fist's hit his knees, he was done. Done working for the powers that be-little. He wouldn't stop until he found a way to get that parasite out of his Fred's body, and his Fred back in it… no matter what it took…

He was glad Illyria had killed that stupid boy, Knox, or he would have done it himself. Because he couldn't have her, no one would? It had ended worst than a homicidal ass hole like that.

Willow! He would call Willow, the Scoobies had all retired after finally closing the hell-mouth for good, but maybe for a friend and an almost friend he could drag her out of it. They'd find a spell and do it to reverse this.

_** I don't wanna run away_

_But I can't take it, _

_I don't understand…_

_If I'm not made for you_

_Then why does my heart tell me that I am?_

While he was searching his desk for Willow's number, he heard a small poof noise and looked up.

There stood a woman who by all standards would have been seen as drop dead gorgeous. She was 5'9" with straight blonde hair that fell just past her waist, and had piercing blue eyes. "I know… hot right?" she spoke.

"You're in the wrong department; Angel's into blonde's… not me…"

"No, you're into the farm girl string-bean type… with dusty brown hair if I'm correct?"

"Get out…"

"Look I'm gonna cut to the chase, I figure, you know of Anyanka, so you'd probably figure out at some point that I'm a vengeance demon."

"Get out…"

"I'm here for you… I usually only come to woman… but your vengeance is incredible, your pain sings through many a dimension…"

"Get out."

"One wish…"

He just starred at her.

"That's better…" she smiled, "Now… what's it gonna be?"


End file.
